Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dwight Howard Wants Van Gundy Fired

Who does Dwight Howard think he is? He thinks he is the star player and general manager of the Orlando Magic, but the problem is he is certainly not the general manager. What a dick move by Howard to try and plea to the management that Stan Van Gundy be fired after Howard asked for a trade numerous times this season, but all of a sudden he changed his mind and wants to stay with the Magic. All Dwight Howard has done this season is bitch and complain about the Magic, and now that he wants to stay with the team he thinks he can make front office decisions. The only player that should even be consulted, not make decisions, is #24 Kobe Bryant. That's it. What Howard should do is just shut his big mouth for once, and concentrate on finishing out this season and trying to make a run in the playoffs with the team that he has now, and can not change until next season. He is becoming a bigger dick than LeBron, and once you even approach that territory you know you are doing something wrong. I mean who would sneakily try and go behind someones back to try to get that person fired. Stan Van Gundy has done nothing to warrant him being fired because he brings his teams to the playoffs year in and year out. Van Gundy wasn't the one bitching about the Magic, Dwight was, Van Gundy isn't throwing up 8 points against the Knicks, Dwight is, so maybe Van Gundy should be the one lobbying for Howard to be let go. Howard has to get his head out of his ass, because who would want a guy on their team who just bitches about everything? The answer is no team, and if the Magic put players around Howard, and he still doesn't win then the fingers start pointing at Dwight Howard for not winning a championship.

Dickhead Rankings:
1.Dwight Howard
2. LeBron James
3. Delonte West

Here is the awkward interview where Stan says Dwight wants him fired, but Dwight denies it.

Bounty Gate Audio Tape Released

 New revelations have come to the surface in the New Orleans Saint's bounty scandal. As first reported by Yahoo! Sports' Sean Pamphilon (ESPN 30 for 30 filmaker), Gregg Williams gave his defensive unit a twelve minute speech prior to their playoff game against San Francisco in the beginning of January. During the speech, Williams instructs his players to injure Alex Smith, Kyle Williams, Frank Gore, Vernon Davis and Michael Crabtree. Here are some direct quotes from the audio tape.

Gregg Williams on Frank Gore: "We've got to do everything in the world to make sure we kill Frank Gore's head. We want him running sideways. We want his head sideways."

On Alex Smith: "Every single one of you, before you get off the pile, affect the head. Early, affect the head. Continue, touch and hit the head."

On Michael Crabtree: "We need to decide whether Crabtree wants to be a fake-ass prima donna, or he wants to be a tough guy. We need to find out. He becomes human when we f------ take out that outside ACL."

On Vernon Davis: "We need to decide how many times we can bull rush and and we can f------ put Vernon Davis' ankles over the pile.

On Kyle Williams: "We need to find out in the first two series of the game, that little wide receiver, No. 10, about his concussion. We need to f------ put a lick on him right now. He needs to decide. He needs to f------ decide."

Gregg Williams is going to have a hard time denying this one. Check the tape out yourself. No wonder Williams didn't try to appeal his suspension.

 P.S.  Earlier this morning, Saint's cornerback Malcolm Jenkins took to twitter to defend his defensive coordinator.

Yankees Cold As Ice

On the very last day of spring training, the Yankees traded for back-up catcher Chris Stewart and demoted Fransisco Cervelli to AAA. Now this isn't really a big deal in the scheme of things, but what is the point of bringing in a back-up catcher that is worse the. one that was already on the roster. I mean Cervelli is what he is, and that's a back-up catcher, but what is the point of dealing a crushing blow to the locker room and more importantly the guy who has done everything that is asked of him? This Chris Stewart guy is four years older than Cervelli, has a .200 batting average, and he does not hit home runs. Cervelli does not hit homers either, but has a significantly better batting average than Stewart does, and can inject energy in the dugout. Just a cold hearted move by Cashman and the Yankees and to think they didn't even improve the ball club while doing it. Just an overall pointless move to make by Cashman to a good guy in Cervelli who was red-eyed and stunned when he was told about the demotion.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Morris Claiborne scores 4 on Wonderlic Test

Four out of five isn't bad, too bad for Morris Claiborne that the test is out of 50. So 4 out of a possible 50 is pretty much retard status. This is the lowest known score since some scrub from Iowa State also received a 4 on the test. Well Morris we now know that you didn't go to class once while you were a football player at LSU, and its good thing you were a good player because if you weren't you would be headed for a job at the local Burger King. Claiborne's agent gave this statement when asked about the test score "I haven't talked to anybody about it. All I know is that (Claiborne) was from a complicated defensive system and he flourished in it."No kidding he flourished in the defensive system, that is probably all he did, when finals came around Claiborne wouldn't be taking a test he would be watching film and studying the playbook. That asshole Kiper says it will have no impact on his draft status, and he is right, but it's just amazing how a human being with no mental illness can score so low on a test that is not really that hard. Lets see if you at home can answer these 4 sample wonderlic test questions.

1.       Paper sells for 21 cents per pad. What will 4 pads cost?

2.       When rope is selling at 10 cents a foot, how many feet can you buy for 60 cents?

3.        The ninth month of the year is:
1)October 2) January 3) June  4) September 5) May

4.      Which number in the following group of numbers represents the smallest amount?
  7              .8            31           .33          2

A fucking 8 year old can answer these questions no problem, but hey maybe Claiborne fell asleep during the test who knows.

2012 NBA MVP Race

 Considering there are roughly 15 regular season games left this season (give or take), I figured it would be appropriate to touch on the NBA MVP race. At this point (April 3rd, 2012), it seems like a two man race between Kevin Durant and LeBron James, but there are some other viable candidates. Kobe and the Lakers are looking vulnerable in the West, and unless Kobe keeps dropping 40 a night, I don't see him taking home the award. Kevin Love is putting up surreal numbers out in Minnesota, but the T-Pups are fifth in their division with a mediocre 25-30 record, which will ultimately prevent him from winning MVP.

Andrew Bynum got off to a monster start, but immaturity issues, as well as a lack of effort have jettisoned him out of the conversation. Chris Paul and the Clippers have won six straight, and despite 19 points and 9 assists on a nightly basis from CP3, I don't see him finishing in the top three. In my eyes, CP3 is the most valuable player to his team (with the exception of maybe Kobe), but the voters don't always see it that way.

Tony Parker and the Spurs have a tight grip on the #2 seed in the West, thanks in part to the Frenchman's exceptional performance this year (arguably his best season as a professional). Parker is averaging 19 points per game (two and half more than his career average) and 8 assists per game (over two more than his career average). Russell Westbrook has come on as of late, but I don't see him finishing anywhere near the top three. Dwight Howard is a beast, don't get me wrong, but I'll be surprised if he finishes towards the top of this list.

As of today, I'd have to go with Durant, Lebron, Kobe, Kevin Love, Tony Parker, CP3, and Russell Westbrook (in that order).

Honorable Mention (as of now): Dwight Howard, Rajon Rondo, Steve Nash, Josh Smith

**UPDATE** LeBron responds with 41 tonight against the Sixers. If he can get the Heat into the #1 spot in the East, it will be hard to deny King James of his third MVP award.

**UPDATE** (4/5 12:20 AM ET) LeBron put up 34 points, dropped ten dimes and grabbed seven boards in a victory against OKC last night. Kevin Durant had a career-high nine turnovers and his "point guard" Russell Westbrook shot 9-26 from the floor. LeBron also added four steals and only turned it over twice. LeBron undoubtedly moves into the number one spot after a dominating performance like that.

2012 NCAA Men's National Championship Recap

 For the first time in his coaching career, John Calipari has won an NCAA national championship. His Kentucky Wildcats defeated Bill Self's Kansas Jayhawks 67-59 in New Orleans last night. Besides a late surge by Kansas towards the end of the second half, this one was basically over from the get-go. Kentucky led by as many as 18 points and held the lead for almost 37 minutes last night. Doron Lamb led all scorers with 22, but Anthony Davis was probably the MVP of this one. Despite going 1-10 from the floor, the future number one pick grabbed 16 boards, blocked six shots, dished out three assists and recorded five steals. As per the usual, Thomas Robinson filled up the stat sheet with 18 points and 17 rebounds, but the AP All-American was far from himself. Anthony Davis bottled up Robinson, who looked uncomfortable the entire night.

Tyshawn Taylor added 19 points, but the New Jersey native committed five turnovers and couldn't find his shooting stroke until it was too late. You have to give Kansas credit though; they were down 15 with five minutes to go before cutting it to a five point deficit around the minute thirty mark. Kentucky's starting five are all destined for the NBA (and quite possibly the first round), as well as the sixth-man, Darius Miller. Anthony Davis, Mike Gilchrist and Thomas Robinson could very well be the top three picks in June's draft. Kansas was simply outmatched by Kentucky's sheer talent and extraordinary effort on the defensive end of the floor, which proved to be the difference in this one.

P.S. Don't be surprised if Kentucky's season gets vacated in a year or two. Vintage Calipari.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Jets Back On Hard Knocks?

Jets owner Woody Johnson said Monday that if HBO extended a formal invitation to be on the show that he would consider accepting. The Jets were on Hard Knocks for the 2010 training camp, and the show did not air last season due to the lockout. I mean if you are an HBO executive and the main goal is ratings then the Jets have to be at the top of the list. First off the Jets have Rex Ryan who will say just about everything, Sanchez-Holmes drama, Cromartie counting his kids (probably 12 with 9 different women now), and finally the second coming of Jesus in Tim Tebow. It would definitely make for good TV, and the Jets proved last time it was not a distraction as they reached their second straight AFC championship game. Who wouldn't want to see Tebow's face when Rex says something like this " Offense get your shit together, you guys are playing like fucking pussies" who knows maybe Tebow will giggle like a little kid. I would be interested in seeing newly acquired safety LaRon Landry in the weight room because he tweeted a picture like a month ago, and his arms are the biggest arms I've seen on a safety. Personally I would love to see the Jets on the show because I'm a fan, but even if you aren't a fan of the Jets you have to admit, Jets training camp would most likely be the most interesting. I'm sure Rex will guarantee the Super Bowl at some point, Santonio Holmes might cry if he doesn't get the ball, and hell maybe Sanchez goes bananas that Tebow is taking reps or something like that. You never know what the Jets will do, so if HBO were smart they would try their hardest to get the Jets back on for the 5 show season.

San Fransisco Giants Give Matt Cain Giant Deal

Have we seen this before? Yes we have the San Fransisco Giants gave Barry Zito a ginormous contract, but Zito has had an ERA north of 4.5 since signing the deal. Zito will earn 19 million this year. Now the San Fransisco Giants have made Matt Cain the highest paid righty ever. This makes no sense because he isn't even the best pitcher on his team because Tim Lincecum trumps Matt Cain everyday of the week. Cain went 12-11 last year with the Giants and had very little run support, and don't get me wrong Cain is a very good pitcher, but he is certainly not worth the most of all time for a right handed pitcher. The contract is for 6 years with the 6th year being an option and 127.5 million dollars with a nice 5 million dollar signing bonus just for fun. I don't think Cain is worth this kind of money because I can name about 10 pitchers that are better than Matt Cain, deserving of a contract extension, but not this much money. The Giants now have around 60 million dollars combined salary for Lincecum, Cain, and Barry Zito who will probably not even make the rotation. Lincecum reached a two year 40.5 million dollar deal to stay with the Giants this off season, and assuming he stays healthy for those two years will most likely get a bigger deal than Cains when the time comes. The Giants have great pitching, but the Giants were 29th in the league in runs scored last year, and the only major offensive addition to the Giants this year is Melky Cabrera. Cabrera can inject some welcomed offense to the club, but it might not be enough. Anyway the Giants overpaid tremendously for Cain, and the Giants are hoping he can have continued success and not pull a Barry Zito.

Ubaldo Jimenez Drills Ex-Teamate Tulowitzki

If you don't think Jimenez threw at Troy Tulowitzki intentionally then you are dumb. Jimenez drills him right in the elbow, and pretty much sprints towards home plate. Nothing like a 96 MPH fastball right in the elbow for a spring training game. It has been reported that these two have had bad blood because Tulo basically called Jimenez a pussy when he was bitching about a contract extension, which he did not receive, and was traded at the deadline to the Cleveland Indians. The Rockies are calling for the MLB to suspend Jimenez, it just so happened that the Commish was in attendance for the game too.

** Update- Jimenez has been given a 5 game suspension, no word on if he will appeal or not. 

Ryan Leaf Arrested Two Days after Arrest

What the hell is wrong with this guy? Just two days after being arrested for theft and drug charges , Ryan Leaf gets arrested early Monday morning for theft and drug charges! This has to be a typo right ? Nope. He is really that retarded to get arrested twice in two days for the exact same crime. As stated in the earlier article he has already violated probation so he cannot be released on bond like he was on Friday. Maybe he is going for the insanity defense by doing the exact same crime in two days, and getting caught.  He must really need the drugs he keeps stealing from people because only fucking mental people get caught with the exact same crime twice in a weekend. If you thought he hit rock bottom on Friday, he just finds a way to go even lower.

P.S. Only fitting that longest yard was on this weekend, looks like Leaf will be at the helm of the Cell Block prison team for the foreseeable future.

** Update- When police conducted a search of Ryan Leaf's home they found 89 hydrocodone pills in his bathrobe . Also in Leaf's pickup truck police found 28 oxycodone pills. Central Montana Drug Force commander Chris Hickman said that Leaf has burglarized other homes in the past year and a half stealing, you guessed it , prescription pills. Texas probation is going to argue that Leaf go to jail and have his probation revoked.